Dear 2012 Juice-- Slow it the F... down!!!!
Though I have a vested interest in wanting overall wine consumption to rise, I feel like at times I'm watching a contest of consumption- the vinous equivalent of an eating contest meets juicy Cliff Notes - For 2012 it is time to crank it back-
1. Drink Slower
Easy there chiefy. A great bottle of wine is an album and not a single. It takes time for a bottle to tell its story. Which doesn't mean stick it in a blender and take it straight to the grand finale- but often the most pleasure is in watching the bottle open, change and unfold over the night. Guzzling the gravy is about as sweet as your '05 customized H2.
2. Smaller Pours.
3oz in a glass is plenty- Last week I watched confused as a server decanted a burg for us, and then promptly poured four 5oz pours for the table- leaving only the last 5oz sitting in the decanter (and basically defeating the purpose). If you want to get lit up at the table, sneak in some jungle juice, nip on some sizzurp, or go deep with the big man for some qualudes! Once your feeling all warm and fuzzilicious sip that lil' pour and you gonna know what I mean! (Damn that' Gewurztraminer is like drinking a fairy tale!)
(The benefit of small pours!)
3. Drink Fewer Wines
The line em up / gang bangs of wine don't make a lot of sense to me- I'm as excited as the next dweeb when it comes to porking corks, but often the 10-15min with each flight thing is the vinous equivalent of hopping from screen to screen at the multiplex and just watching the previews and feeling that you've seen the movie. Dang- from the preview- Howard the Duck looked like it might be in the same light as Every Which Way But Loose- but after sitting through 90mins of crap about a duck, we are forever reminded that nothing beats a monkey.
