Dirty South Wine

Healdsburg, CA: Spring at Night

Quick test shots from 3/16 in Healdsburg, CA.  Testing some new gear on beautiful night.

Enter The #crazybear- A Wine Video Odyssey

Enter the Crazy Bear from Kevin Kelley on Vimeo.

There is no turning back.  #crazybear wine is taking off and is the start of something beyond ridiculous...

@crazybearwine

Why Worry About Social Media and Dominating the Millenials when Your Wine Sucks?

While most are strategerizing about social media and how to target millenials with leftover 3rd label juice, a handful of people are still out making wine that tastes like this.

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Sales of our third label are down, way down.  It is mindboggling, because the goofy-ass name we gave it did great in test markets-  Who doesn't want a wine named Crazy Bear Charbono-nay-- a tasty blend of smoke-tainted Charbono and stainless steel Chardonnay?  (More on Crazy Bear in coming posts).  The data said it was supposed to flow like energy drinks this year in the parking lots of the Nickleback tour we sponsored, but something went wrong-- horribly wrong.  Now sales blames marketing, marketing blames production, production blames sales, and whoever the people are who are on the other side of the conference calls have now hired consultants that say "You need to turn on social media now, or Crazy Bear is farked!"

Heads ready to roll, we've set up killer twitter #hashtags (#crazybear), recruited thousands of "friends", and started tweetin' like a mother-clucker (even if they just RT stupid stuff, #crazybear is getting out there!) Soon everyone will be talking about Crazy Bear (The crazy wine that cares)!

In 3months Crazy Bear is going to be way on top- Getting guzzled by dudes on iPhones falling out of party buses shelling out hundos and coming to make it rain all up in your tasting room!  Because what the consultants tell us we need to realize is that lovers of Crazy Bear will soon grow and become lovers of our pricey main label-- Bear Creek Ridgeline Springs (An exclusively bold wine for successful couples sophisticated indulgence, for sharing with other like-minded, but not quite as successful couples). 

It is a good thing that It is hot as balls down at Bear Creek Ridgeline Springs, because to score big and get that cheddar, you've got let those balls hang.  Lovers of Crazy Bear relate to that and it is just a matter of tweets and moving out of their parents house before they cross the line...

Crazy Bear Wine on Facebook

Crazy Bear Wine on Twitter

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About the Author:  Inventor of the term, "The Crazy Wine That Cares", Hardy Wallace is a world champion wine blogger and marketing maven specializing in how to dump all that leftover shiz you have in those tanks. His reach spans the impressionable millenials that stole his effen' bike and ghost rode it into Dry Creek at this weekends barrel tasting, and to their parents who tell him to leave the deliveries in the back.  Hardy's next appearance is at the West County Feline Show where he will be showing his award winning  Cornish Rex cat- Pepperonious IV to the esteemed panel of judges.

Wine and Swine: Cochon 555 2/28/10

Some quick shots from Cochon 555 in Napa.

I was lucky enough to be a judge for this year's event, and the participating restaurants brought the pork and the power.

The French Laundry walked away as the overall winner in the competition, but it was a huge fight.  Huge props to NAMU for being folks that I was unaware of, and am now totally intrigued by, Christopher Kostow's Szechuan pig ear salad reminded me of marathon wine dinners at Tasty China in ATL, I loved seeing Duskie and John represent heart and soul cooking from Zazu, and Peter Pahk brought mega flavor from Silverado Resort.

An amazing event by Carolina, Brady and Anthony!

2/26- Kevin Kelley and Hardy Wallace on KSRO "The Drive"

Today at about 3:45 PM PST join Kevin and I on "The Drive" with Steve Jaxon on KSRO.

We'll be talking about The NPA and perhaps some Mr. Healdsburg.  The Drive is always entertaining. 

Tune in live here.

Wine Bloggers Bite The Big One!

(example 1.  Money being wasted on Wine Bloggers who have zero influence.  What are those? Grilled veggies?)

"Wine bloggers that don't know anything have zero influence whatsoever on the wine industry-  They don't sell wine / move cases... In fact they have anti-influence!  So much that whatever plonk they talk about, taste, and shill, creates a negative, anti-sales energy / force field around your wines... They're journalistic doppelgangers that don't deserve your attention, time, and specifically your resources and ad dollars.  Can you hold one moment while I transfer you to sales?

See, winebloggers are trying to take all the spotlight, ad money, and a few of these rat-finks actually want to make an income, or even a living from writing online! Gawt danged cheese and RICE!!!!!  How do they expect to do this?  Combined, their reach barely extends to the other 6 wine bloggers that subscribe to their drivelous wine blog , but still we must talk about them regularly...  If we don't publicly address the problem of blogs, someone upstairs is going to get really pissed, and when they get pissed, it starts raining Poop and chainsaws....  I mean, it totally sucks to get hit by a chainsaw, but even more when you're covered in POOP!  Bloggers, blobbers, these little, tiny, droolers, keep us from talking about wine...

These Caesar salad-eaters have no right to just say anything online-  How dare they?  We have responsibilities, editors,sales and marketing departments, and advertisers!  We get paid so we can be ethical!!! Most bloggers just have their mom and a never-ending pack of hot pockets they use to chase down with free samples of "Smoking Chupacabra Pinot Blend" (These guys blend in all the Pinots! Perfect for Millenials!) sent to them boondoggle style from Wines of Uruguayistan...  Heck, I wouldn't touch that plonk with their mother's mustache!

(example 2.  More money being wasted on Wine Bloggers-- They even had oysters! How many cases did those freakin' bivalves sell?)

Down in their basement lair, next to boxes of old TSR games, these half-bred, twits, manically type nothing but positive notes to get more free wine (some even write every day!!!!). Occasionally they huddle in secret society-like tweetups where when they are not tweeting to each other, they talk about how they tweet, what samples they got, and who is going to #crushit or #ownit this year. When they take a break from ignoring real, meaningful human interaction, they mumble to each other about how to take down traditional media, and how many free pens and snacks they are going to get at the 2010 Wine Bloggers Conference.  Most of these pigtailed, blobbers have no idea and have never been on a real junket before...  but that may get in the way of them tweeting, blogging and doing social media bullshanks..."

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All this talk in the past months of wine blogger influence always comes back to "Does it sell wine? Does it move cases?"  But this sounds more like traditional media reinforcing that they deserve (and need) ad revenue.  You know what, they probably do.  If you've got the scratch to give, and it is historically proven effective for you, place an ad with them.  If they've been successful at moving your wine, how could you possibly think not to advertise with them?  That is their goal after all, to sell your wine?

Don't get me wrong, I like, respect, and have friends in traditional media.  The BEST writers  and palates are still in traditional media.  They deserve support, attention, respect and praise.

But let's call this recent noise what it is... A fight for your money and eyeballs.

Most bloggers don't care if they ever get a dime from ads, cases of samples of non-vintage sparking scuppernong, or a moment of your time.  They do it for fun, for the camaraderie, and most importantly- for love of wine.  Some are great writers, some have zero influence, some are skilled tasters, others not...  but type in a search in google looking for a wine, and chances are they (or something communicated via social media or a social network) are going to pop up high on the search results.

I encourage anyone to spend their money where it works (just don't think about spending it here)...

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About the author:

Hardy Wallace is the world's least influential wine figure.  His blog Dirty South Wine may reach an audience of 2 billion people online, but no one besides other bloggers read it.  Though he is a champion wine blender, experienced culinary judge, master of "the forbidden dance", and has personally fought off 2 species of giant cat from the comfort of his luxury automobile, he can't write or score wine worth a hoot. 

When not wine blogging, he is tweeting to others about wine blogging.  When not eating hot pockets, he is heating up hot pockets and preparing to eat them.

LIOCO Wine Event: 3/2 ENO Atlanta

Disclaimer up front:  Kevin Kelley, the winemaker at The NPA (where I now work) is also the winemaker for LIOCO- and I'm staring at a bunch of LIOCO barrels as I type... while sippin' on a few barrel samples... they are tastified!

That being said-  I've written about LIOCO many times pre-The NPA.  If you want to taste some pure Chardonnay, and riding dirty Pinot Noir, definitely check out the event at Barrelman / Eno.  You'll taste some great wines, and also learn some amazing things about how Kevin makes wines.  This tasting will be about the closest thing you can get to what I'm doing out here now.

LIOCO co-owner Matt Licklider will be there presenting the hooch.  Please give him a Dirty South welcome!

If you like it funky, this worth checking out.

$25 for General Peeps

$10 for Barrelman Club Members.

Tues. 3/2 6:30 PM

404-228-8817

WIne and Swine- Cochon 555 Returns to Napa 2/28

Ahh yeah-  the pig is back. 

Cochon 555 returns to Napa for a day of wine and swine.  5 insane chefs go head to head to create pigilicious delicacies, 5 wine makers / wineries pour the juice of champions, and then a rag tag group of judges (including this freak) lays down swine-law.

These events sell out-- Get your tickets quick(ets)

Competing Chefs:

2010 PARTICIPATING CHEFS:

DEVIN KNELL - French Laundry
PETER PAHK - Silverado Resort
CHRIS KOSTOW - Meadowood Napa Valley
DENNIS LEE - Namu SF
JOHN STEWART & DUSKIE ESTES - Zazu Restaurant

THE FIVE WINERIES:

Gamble Family Vineyards
Hirsch Vineyards
Zacherle Wines
Wind Gap Wines
Hill Family Estate

AM Photo and Mr. Healdsburg 2010

Mustard and old vines at Mounts Winery en route from Dry Creek Valley to The NPA.  Though overcast this AM, the drive out of Dry Creek in the AM is amazing.

 

And a reminder that this strapping buck is going to be competing in the 2010 Mr. Healdsburg Pageant.  If you don't have your tix yet, get them now.  This sells out in advance.  (I need to dispel the rumors-- I will not be performing the Atlanta Anthem "Pants on the Ground".)

Dirty Shots from the Week- Vines, Barrels, and Vineyards

Lady Dirty at W.E. Bottoms vineyard in Occidental-  We grab Pinot Noir from their for Salinia (our bottled / non-Kanteen wine).  Zepaltas and Lattanzio also pull from Bottoms.  Tracy said she was making a dingy-- Don't ever question someone making a dingy...

At The NPA / Salinia, winemaker Kevin Kelley also makes wine for LIOCO, Spot On Cellars, and Heintz.  There is some freaky shizz all up in here... Fruit from Hirsch, Demuth, Hanzell, Michaud, Bottoms, Klindt, Durell, and a few other outrageous vineyards.  This is deep funk central.  Totally dirty.

Another AM shot from Michel-Schlumberger.  No bobcat last night, just the frogs, and the soon to be devoured rooster.  Now if I can just get my camera setup to take some shots of the stars...  They are insane.

Also- Tonight, Kevin Kelley and I will be on WineBiz Radio tonight at 6PM PST-  Tune in to the webcast live, or check us out on Friday when the show is broadcast on KSVY 91.3 from 4-5PM PST