With just about 24hrs to the end of voting, you need to take a few moments on Tuesday to visit your local wine merchant, or to comb through your cellar to find an appropriate bottle to open and subsequently crush to signify the end of this election.
As a nation, we’ve endured two years of torturous campaigning from both sides. Our news outlets have become port-a-lets of opinion and bias, and not a soul on earth can tolerate the equal hours of both Fox News and CNN required to construct a semi-unbiased view of the news.
On election night, your bottle shouldn't be a bottle for victory, or a bottle to sip in defeat-- because regardless of party, in the past two years, we’ve all lost something. Non-stop garble from both parties spewing half-truths and propaganda has damaged our country and sense of community. Both sides are guilty from deliberately manipulating the public for their own gain.
So pick a bottle that isn't for decadence, but pick one that signifies passing, relief, sacrifice, and that delivers equal parts pleasure and pain.
So with pleasure and pain as your guide, here are a three general suggestions from Dirty South Wine
Young California Syrah (2005-2006)
Why?
These wines will be BIG, perhaps huge, and deliver a much needed bruising wallop of alcohol. Big dark fruit, seductive herbs and perhaps some animal tracks to lure you in, but without food these could be challenge going down and inflict that prick of pain to remind you that the election is in fact over and you put up with a lot of crap! For maximum pleasure and pain, seek out a Syrah that is at least 15% alcohol and crush it with a friend or family member! Now don’t try and cut corners and swap Syrah for a Zinfandel, because though high alcohol, Zinfandel rarely packs the tannin of Syrah and for Tuesday night you will need a wine with some fight.
A few to look for that you may find in your area- Stolpman, Novy, Copain
Savennières-
Why?
Because like the election, it may take years before we truly know whether the outcome was good or bad. We may know now who we like better, but no one has a clue how either of the candidates is going to perform. With Savennières your tongue and nose may say hell no, but your brain will say yes. These rocky, grassy, herbaliscious wines are often challenging, but always interesting. You've endured a lot, now buck up and endure some more!
A few to look for Baumard’s Clos Du Papillion, Damien Laureau Le Bel Ouvrage, or Château D’Epiré
German Riesling-
Why?
Sweet (and most of you hate sweet for unknown reasons), but dense with a heady dose of petrol and rock. If really gassy, you may think someone is trying to burn down your house with jet fuel. German Riesling often packs a stinging acidity that at times make you twitch... Often at below 10% alcohol, you will need to to tackle a single bottle on your own before you start to feel like you were truly built for love. (So get two and make it happen!)
Again, shoot for 06’s and 07’s- we need sacrifice!!!
A few to look for-- Dönnhoff, JJ Prum, Selbach-Oster, and Willi Schaefer
Now if you want to be really nuts and break out your top tier 05 Bordeaux and Burgundies, then you aren't tough, you are nuts…. We’ve all sacrificed, but not enough to eat our young ….
Regardless of what you open, do it with family, with friends, and make neither a toast to victory or curse defeat, but raise your glass, look your friends in the eyes and toast to this finally being over-- (and if you make it to your 3rd or 4th bottle, you can always reinvigorate the crowd with drunken cries of “Death to all fanatics!”)
Drink tough on Tuesday!
(but please don’t drive!)
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