Dirty South Wine

Why Worry About Social Media and Dominating the Millenials when Your Wine Sucks?

While most are strategerizing about social media and how to target millenials with leftover 3rd label juice, a handful of people are still out making wine that tastes like this.

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Sales of our third label are down, way down.  It is mindboggling, because the goofy-ass name we gave it did great in test markets-  Who doesn't want a wine named Crazy Bear Charbono-nay-- a tasty blend of smoke-tainted Charbono and stainless steel Chardonnay?  (More on Crazy Bear in coming posts).  The data said it was supposed to flow like energy drinks this year in the parking lots of the Nickleback tour we sponsored, but something went wrong-- horribly wrong.  Now sales blames marketing, marketing blames production, production blames sales, and whoever the people are who are on the other side of the conference calls have now hired consultants that say "You need to turn on social media now, or Crazy Bear is farked!"

Heads ready to roll, we've set up killer twitter #hashtags (#crazybear), recruited thousands of "friends", and started tweetin' like a mother-clucker (even if they just RT stupid stuff, #crazybear is getting out there!) Soon everyone will be talking about Crazy Bear (The crazy wine that cares)!

In 3months Crazy Bear is going to be way on top- Getting guzzled by dudes on iPhones falling out of party buses shelling out hundos and coming to make it rain all up in your tasting room!  Because what the consultants tell us we need to realize is that lovers of Crazy Bear will soon grow and become lovers of our pricey main label-- Bear Creek Ridgeline Springs (An exclusively bold wine for successful couples sophisticated indulgence, for sharing with other like-minded, but not quite as successful couples). 

It is a good thing that It is hot as balls down at Bear Creek Ridgeline Springs, because to score big and get that cheddar, you've got let those balls hang.  Lovers of Crazy Bear relate to that and it is just a matter of tweets and moving out of their parents house before they cross the line...

Crazy Bear Wine on Facebook

Crazy Bear Wine on Twitter

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About the Author:  Inventor of the term, "The Crazy Wine That Cares", Hardy Wallace is a world champion wine blogger and marketing maven specializing in how to dump all that leftover shiz you have in those tanks. His reach spans the impressionable millenials that stole his effen' bike and ghost rode it into Dry Creek at this weekends barrel tasting, and to their parents who tell him to leave the deliveries in the back.  Hardy's next appearance is at the West County Feline Show where he will be showing his award winning  Cornish Rex cat- Pepperonious IV to the esteemed panel of judges.

Wine Bloggers Bite The Big One!

(example 1.  Money being wasted on Wine Bloggers who have zero influence.  What are those? Grilled veggies?)

"Wine bloggers that don't know anything have zero influence whatsoever on the wine industry-  They don't sell wine / move cases... In fact they have anti-influence!  So much that whatever plonk they talk about, taste, and shill, creates a negative, anti-sales energy / force field around your wines... They're journalistic doppelgangers that don't deserve your attention, time, and specifically your resources and ad dollars.  Can you hold one moment while I transfer you to sales?

See, winebloggers are trying to take all the spotlight, ad money, and a few of these rat-finks actually want to make an income, or even a living from writing online! Gawt danged cheese and RICE!!!!!  How do they expect to do this?  Combined, their reach barely extends to the other 6 wine bloggers that subscribe to their drivelous wine blog , but still we must talk about them regularly...  If we don't publicly address the problem of blogs, someone upstairs is going to get really pissed, and when they get pissed, it starts raining Poop and chainsaws....  I mean, it totally sucks to get hit by a chainsaw, but even more when you're covered in POOP!  Bloggers, blobbers, these little, tiny, droolers, keep us from talking about wine...

These Caesar salad-eaters have no right to just say anything online-  How dare they?  We have responsibilities, editors,sales and marketing departments, and advertisers!  We get paid so we can be ethical!!! Most bloggers just have their mom and a never-ending pack of hot pockets they use to chase down with free samples of "Smoking Chupacabra Pinot Blend" (These guys blend in all the Pinots! Perfect for Millenials!) sent to them boondoggle style from Wines of Uruguayistan...  Heck, I wouldn't touch that plonk with their mother's mustache!

(example 2.  More money being wasted on Wine Bloggers-- They even had oysters! How many cases did those freakin' bivalves sell?)

Down in their basement lair, next to boxes of old TSR games, these half-bred, twits, manically type nothing but positive notes to get more free wine (some even write every day!!!!). Occasionally they huddle in secret society-like tweetups where when they are not tweeting to each other, they talk about how they tweet, what samples they got, and who is going to #crushit or #ownit this year. When they take a break from ignoring real, meaningful human interaction, they mumble to each other about how to take down traditional media, and how many free pens and snacks they are going to get at the 2010 Wine Bloggers Conference.  Most of these pigtailed, blobbers have no idea and have never been on a real junket before...  but that may get in the way of them tweeting, blogging and doing social media bullshanks..."

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All this talk in the past months of wine blogger influence always comes back to "Does it sell wine? Does it move cases?"  But this sounds more like traditional media reinforcing that they deserve (and need) ad revenue.  You know what, they probably do.  If you've got the scratch to give, and it is historically proven effective for you, place an ad with them.  If they've been successful at moving your wine, how could you possibly think not to advertise with them?  That is their goal after all, to sell your wine?

Don't get me wrong, I like, respect, and have friends in traditional media.  The BEST writers  and palates are still in traditional media.  They deserve support, attention, respect and praise.

But let's call this recent noise what it is... A fight for your money and eyeballs.

Most bloggers don't care if they ever get a dime from ads, cases of samples of non-vintage sparking scuppernong, or a moment of your time.  They do it for fun, for the camaraderie, and most importantly- for love of wine.  Some are great writers, some have zero influence, some are skilled tasters, others not...  but type in a search in google looking for a wine, and chances are they (or something communicated via social media or a social network) are going to pop up high on the search results.

I encourage anyone to spend their money where it works (just don't think about spending it here)...

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About the author:

Hardy Wallace is the world's least influential wine figure.  His blog Dirty South Wine may reach an audience of 2 billion people online, but no one besides other bloggers read it.  Though he is a champion wine blender, experienced culinary judge, master of "the forbidden dance", and has personally fought off 2 species of giant cat from the comfort of his luxury automobile, he can't write or score wine worth a hoot. 

When not wine blogging, he is tweeting to others about wine blogging.  When not eating hot pockets, he is heating up hot pockets and preparing to eat them.

Following My Dreams-- 2/15 is Coming!

(Stocking up-  This ride is gonna' git dirty!)

With my days at Murphy-Goode coming to a close, I'm really excited by the next steps of my wine adventure that sits just around the corner.

My life and lifestyle will change, but that is all part of pursuing a dream.

I am ridiculously excited to share my next steps with everyone on 2/15.

"Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. ...."-- William Hutchison Murray

This is going to get crazy!

Sabotage - The Beastie Boys

Results! Popeyes Online Wine Pairing Challenge!

11/18/09 May go down as a national holiday-  The First Ever Popeyes Online Wine Pairing Challenge went out in a blaze of dirty birds. 

Five food and wine experts submitted their ultimate wine pairings, and people on both coasts got together to taste through the pairings-- live, online, and ultimately voting for the best pairings.

A sick panel of contestants entered- 

Besha Rodell:  Food Editor for Atlanta's Creative Loafing, and 2009 AFJ Winner

Lyle Fass:  Online Riesling Legend and NYC based Wine Consultant

Alan Kropf:  Editor in Chief of Mutineer Magazine and Sommelier

Jon Bonne:  Wine Editor from the SF Chronicle

Kevin Kelley:  Wine Maker extrodinaire!

Four parties launched simultaneously- 1 in Healdsburg, CA and 3 in Atlanta and tasting went off fast and furious.  Along the way, people tweeted up a storm using the hashtag #drtybrd (more than 350 tweets registered).  The Healdsburg party (chez moi) had approximately 45 attendees.

When it came down to eating, the wines were numbered, lined up, and snacking began.

Winner: (Popular Votes)

1. Francois Pinon Vouvray Brut Non-Dosé

(Congrats to Jon Bonné of SF Chronicle!!!)

2. Renardat-Fache Bugey du Cerdon and Willi Schaefer Estate QBA 2008 (TIE)

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Winner:  (Critics Pick)

1. Willi Schaefer Estate QBA 2008

2. Renardat-Fache Bugey du Cerdon

3. Francois Pinon Vouvray Brut Non-Dosé

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Beyond winners, losers, etc...  What was most amazing about this event, was that it brought people together with great wine, fun food, and encouraged people to get crunk with chicken.

Kevin Kelley and Salinia Wine made some great antagonistic videos 1, 2

20dollarwine went crazy and made 3 insane gelato flavors

Alan Kropf took us on his 1st tour of Popeyes

Bricks Of Wine took some amazing photos

Rachel Reenstra and Ziggy The Wine Gal wrote and performed a hysterical song.

For one night, this was the spirit of wine online.

Huge thanks to all of the participants, contestants, hosts for the remote parties, etc...

There will be a round II.

(video by Rowdy Food from the WineTonite.com party in ATL)

ALSO-  HUGE thanks to Popeyes in Rohnert Park, CA. for cooking up all our chicken!!!

Atlantan Shoots for Slot on Season 2 of "The Winemakers"!

Dirty South Wine guest poster, friend, and fellow Atlantan, goes for slot on
Season 2 of the "The Winemakers"

Please help Dave out and share his video with your friends!

Also- Follow David's journey on his blog "Winemaker's Guest Book"

Best of luck David!!!!

Dirty vs Goode? What Happens to Dirty South Wine?

Keep On Growing - Derek & The ...

(WineTonite, Dirty, and Eat It, Atlanta at Bovolo in Healdsburg, CA)

As most of you know, I was hired by Murphy-Goode Winery to be their "Wine Country Lifestyle Correspondent".  Thanks to the efforts of many Dirty South Wine Fans, I got the job and am packing up to move to Healdsburg, CA. for at least the next six months. (THANK YOU!)

In the past few weeks, a number of posts have been written regarding what will happen to Dirty South Wine, my credibility, and if I will continue to bring the crunk. 

Dirty South Wine is going to keep on keeping on.  Out of respect for readers, I intend to keep both outlets as separate as possible.  I will have time in Sonoma that will be off the clock, and I intend to explore, taste, and keep the Dirty South flavor going during my stay in Healdsburg.  The only spots I may cross post are if I am going to do an appearance, interview, or something where I'd love to catch up with people. 

But, Murphy-Goode drinkers or not, I hope that you visit, interact, and read my content at Murphy-Goode.  I intend to devote countless hours developing some of my craziest, most creative, and off the wall content for this opportunity. I won't let you down.

(click for the my new intro video)

On 8/15 all Murphy-Goode related content and posts will be at
www.murphygoodewinery.com/hardy

My current Murphy-Goode page is just a shell, and it will go through some major development and transitions over the next few weeks-- it will be rockin'!  I'll also be taking over the Murphy-Goode Facebook Fan Page

I can't wait to get started at Murphy-Goode and to also keep the Dirty South rocking in Sonoma.

Funny Shot From Times Square

This is not Photoshopped--  Pretty funny stuff.

I'll be starting at Murphy-Goode on 8/15.  Dirty South Wine will remain up and running and my work for Murphy-Goode will be done through their website.  This is going to be a wild ride!

Wine Bloggers Conference 2009-- In A Few Pictures

Still trying to get my head above water, but here are some great shots from the 2009 Wine Bloggers Conference.  What a wild weekend.

Grilling out at Antica on top of Atlas Peak in Napa....

Natural wine goddess Amy Atwood rockin' The N.P.A. Chardonnay


Crowd at the Wine Bloggers Conference-- 250 Wine Bloggers talking social media and wine.


Friend and online wine legend- Mike Wangbickler, aka Caveman Wines.
(dang, I came to party!)

I have hours of videos, and tons of shots.  I'll be getting some more serious content up on Tuesday when I make it back to the ATL.

Shots From Hotel Healdsburg

Ahh Yeah!  10 days until the 2nd Annual North American Wine Bloggers Conference!

For 3 Days, Sonoma and Napa will be overrun with 250 tweetin', blobbin', flippin', streamin', guzzlin' and spittin' wine bloggers.

More than a three day social event, it is a three day social media event-- If you can believe it, there is a pretty rigid and serious agenda.

Going last year as an attendee, I'm proud to say that this year, I will be a panelist-- On Video Content...  Frightening, huh?

Beyond Words: How Video Content is Changing the Wine World:
The wine business has been slow to embrace video for blogging, branding, marketing, or entertainment.  In this panel we’ll assess the state of video content in the wine world with people in the know.  Then drawing on examples from other sectors, we’ll predict where we are heading. Panelists include Bob Asher, TV Producer and founder of ChilmarkMedia and DrinkThisTV.com; Lisa M. deBruin (Hahn Family Winery and www.hahnwine.tv); Hardy Wallace, Dirty South Wine; and John McWeeny, TurnHere.com. Sponsored by the Wine Growers of Dry Creek Valley.

Was it this one that made them say "We need Dirty!"????

Dirty South Wine Workout Video on 12seconds.tv

I'm a firm believer that video content is a key component in the future of wine media.  I'm from the school of thought where you don't need to be a filmmaker to produce great video (sometimes referred to the school of thought that has no talent)- You just have to do it, and be able to do it quickly (both in production speed and in short videos). 

As fast as blogging has changed the voice of wine criticism, I think video is going to change they way we blog.

Video has yet to take a firm hold in Wine Blogging.  Along with the epic Gary Vaynerchuk who has been doing video since day 1, here are two wine video blogs I view regularly and really enjoy.

Prince of Wine
Wine Chat TV

Also-- I'm playing with a new camera this week too. (Please watch in HD)

They Put Dirty On A Panel??? Oh Snap! Here Comes the 2nd Annual Wine Bloggers Conference

Ahh Yeah!  10 days until the 2nd Annual North American Wine Bloggers Conference!

For 3 Days, Sonoma and Napa will be overrun with 250 tweetin', blobbin', flippin', streamin', guzzlin' and spittin' wine bloggers.

More than a three day social event, it is a three day social media event-- If you can believe it, there is a pretty rigid and serious agenda.

Going last year as an attendee, I'm proud to say that this year, I will be a panelist-- On Video Content...  Frightening, huh?

Beyond Words: How Video Content is Changing the Wine World:
The wine business has been slow to embrace video for blogging, branding, marketing, or entertainment.  In this panel we’ll assess the state of video content in the wine world with people in the know.  Then drawing on examples from other sectors, we’ll predict where we are heading. Panelists include Bob Asher, TV Producer and founder of ChilmarkMedia and DrinkThisTV.com; Lisa M. deBruin (Hahn Family Winery and www.hahnwine.tv); Hardy Wallace, Dirty South Wine; and John McWeeny, TurnHere.com. Sponsored by the Wine Growers of Dry Creek Valley.

Was it this one that made them say "We need Dirty!"????

Dirty South Wine Workout Video on 12seconds.tv

I'm a firm believer that video content is a key component in the future of wine media.  I'm from the school of thought where you don't need to be a filmmaker to produce great video (sometimes referred to the school of thought that has no talent)- You just have to do it, and be able to do it quickly (both in production speed and in short videos). 

As fast as blogging has changed the voice of wine criticism, I think video is going to change they way we blog.

Video has yet to take a firm hold in Wine Blogging.  Along with the epic Gary Vaynerchuk who has been doing video since day 1, here are two wine video blogs I view regularly and really enjoy.

Prince of Wine
Wine Chat TV

Also-- I'm playing with a new camera this week too. (Please watch in HD)